Editor’s Note: Last May, in honor of the long run of the Tsunami Sea Kayak Race, we published 4 consecutive articles chronicling the beginnings of the race at Rodeo Beach and Pacifica. The last article covered the “Devil’s Dare” race in 1991, which started at Pacifica State Beach and ended at Michael Powers’ house at Miramar Beach in Half Moon Bay. This month the story continues with 4 more tales covering the epic contests which subsequently took place at Miramar. In 1992, the race started and ended on the beach in front of Michael’s. The theme was “Pirate’s Day”. Today’s article includes a flyer, a public service announcement, some history, and a blow-by-blow account of the race, all written by Eric Soares (two pieces under a pseudonym), and finishes up with a song exemplifying the piratical spirit of the Rangers, written by Eric and Jim Kakuk. Yo ho ho, here we go!
YO HO! The upcoming….
PIRATE’S DAY KAYAK RACE – SUNDAY MAY 3, 1992
by Don Diego Vega
HAIL all landlubbers and especially you privateers, marooners, freebooters, buccaneers, water sprites, berserkers, and sea gypsies — there will be a lavish celebration of the lusty life of the sea gypsy on the new holiday –PIRATE’S DAY– always held the Sunday before Mother’s Day. This year, we will celebrate the freebooter lifestyle (bring your free lunch) at noon, May 3rd, at Michael Powers’ temple (One Mirada Road, Half Moon Bay — see the map).
The RACE for FREEBOOTY
The 7-mile race (which is NOT insured or sanctioned) is the big event. If you are an EXPERT paddler, here is some advice. Study the map and practice the course. If you take the recommended route, you will be safest. If you take the beeline course, you will save distance but risk your arse even more (lots of surf and rocks). NO LIFEGUARD WILL SAVE YOUR ARSE! YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN! SO, ARE YOU POGEY BAIT OR A PIRATE?
There will be a rising tide (up to 4 feet), 6-foot swells, a 20-knot NW wind, steep surf, and big rocks. Racers in full wetsuits & helmets who paddle any sturdy craft (e.g. surf ski, sea kayak, baidarka, ocean scull, dragon boat) will take off through the surf at Miramar Beach, paddle around Pillar Point, around Flat Rock and onto the beach north of Pillar Point. A doubloon must be grabbed there. Then, you will paddle to the spit just south of the Point and grab another doubloon on shore. Racers must then paddle to the east end of the breakwater and grab a third doubloon from a person standing on the jetty just outside the surf zone. Then, you must paddle inside the surf (we’ll have more information on race day) to Michael’s house, go outside and around a kayak buoy and then rush onto the beach where you will carry your boat across the finish line and deposit your three doubloons in the treasure cauldron. If you spear anyone with your boat or fail to rescue someone who needs it, you are out — for good. Get it?
The PIRATE CELEBRATION
Immediately following the race, we’ll have a grand SEA GYPSY celebration and give out awards. First place freebooty is the new TSUNAMI X-O CROSSOVER, a slalom washdeck kayak painted in pirate colors. Second place is a HOTLINE HOTSUIT kayaker’s wetsuit. Third place is a custom MERV LARSON surf paddle. The highest placing 3-boat TEAM will get a giant pirate flag! Winners in subcategories (e.g. first half-blind wench to surf in backwards with a dagger in her teeth) and all losers will receive rum. YO HO! All racers and celebrants are requested to wear a pirate or sea gypsy costume. If you wear Herbert garments, you will be held for ransom. Grok?! By the way, everything (except t-shirts) is FREEEEEEEE booty!
Of Pirates and Vikings: excerpt from “Race of the Sea Gypsies”
by Eric Soares
After the Devil’s Dare and continuing for over a dozen years, the race began and ended at Michael Powers’ house (and Tsunami Ranger Headquarters) at Miramar Beach. The seven-mile course started in the surf at Miramar, continued around Pillar Point where the Maverick surf wave resides, went north to and around Flat Rock (a very dangerous flat rock with jagged spikes of rocks sticking up everywhere) and landed in the rocky surf at Ross’s Cove. Then racers went back out through the surf, around Pillar Point and finished back at Miramar.
Talented and bold racers took shortcuts around Pillar Point by either risking everything and going inside of Mavericks, or worse, cutting through the surf at the Slot right next to the Pillar Point cliff, therefore saving a lot of distance but greatly increasing the chance of capsize and boat damage. A few times we changed the course to make it more interesting or for safety reasons. For example, one year, the surf at Mavericks was closing out at 15 feet, so we shortened the race so people could avoid a life-and-death experience at Pillar Point.
The first year we had the race at Michael’s, Jim Kakuk and I got together with John Lull in his hot tub and decided to dub it the Pirate’s Day Race, because after all that had befallen us in the past, we felt very piratical. But Michael didn’t like the name, because it was, uh, too piratical. But it was too late. The t-shirts and posters were already made. The year after that, Michael said we should call it the Viking’s Day Race, in honor of some dubious ancestor of his. We agreed, but I had to point out that the dictionary definition of Viking was “Scandinavian pirate”. From then on the race was called Sea Gypsy, as that was the only name we could all agree upon. At the race site, the Sea Angel Nani blessed the boaters, the Tsunami Ranger Chaplain gave a benediction, pirate flags flew, drummers drummed, gongs were gonged, and spectators were encouraged to dress up both during and after the race. Many of the gals dressed as exotic sea gypsies, Jim and I were always pirates with swords and capes, and Michael of course came as a Viking, wearing horns and a reindeer skin. Usually, we gave away gag prizes, because we didn’t want people to compete for money or trophies.
During the Pirate’s Day race, however, first prize was a brand new Tsunami X-O Crossover, a slalom Kevlar-armored surf boat designed and built by Jim Kakuk. This boat was dubbed the “Pirate Boat” because it sported a skull wearing a helmet, with the Tsunami Ranger emblem of a crossed kayak paddle and trident behind it. I’m ashamed to admit that I coveted the Pirate Boat. To ensure I would win, I cheated, as always, and enlisted Bo Barnes, a mighty Viking respected by all as a consummate water man, to be my front engine in a Tsunami X-2 double, and this year we won!
THE PIRATE’S DAY KAYAK RACE
by Don Diego del Fuego
Hot tubs are perfect places to cook up great ideas. Last January, Jim Kakuk and Eric Soares were getting soaked with John Lull at his tub when the rummy mates came up with the ludicrous idea of staging a Pirate’s Day Kayak Race to honor the freewheeling lifestyle of the boldest people on earth. The idea became reality on May 3rd at the Miramar Beach Kayak Club when Laura Nixon suddenly said “GO!” and twenty boats ranging from slalom kayaks to baidarkas to surf skis launched through the surf and headed toward Pillage Point.
Most racers don’t remember the start much. The usual three-foot waves didn’t stop the privateers from punching through in pursuit of freebooty. Regardless of boat, there was only one racing category — open. Unfortunately, all surf kayak races interject luck into the equation, and this year Steve Kaspar and his hand built baidarka were swamped by the will of Neptune. Noble Tom Cromwell, from Washington, paddling a Mariner XL, assisted Steve in the froth while the rest of the marooners continued on the quest. Both paddlers could have won, but the bad luck put them out of the top three slots, even though Steve still managed to come in fifth.
Once outside the surf, six tandem teams in Tsunami X-2’s formed a chevron with everyone else in close pursuit. The teams razzed each other with lies and taunts, when out of the blue, the sly dogs Russ Pritchett and John Dixon snuck in behind the leaders Bo Barnes and Eric Soares and waxed their tail. Eric yelled out to Bo, “If they keep houndin’ us, I’ll sink ’em.” Big John Nagle and big Jim Kreofsky in their big Banzai Bozo Boat bellowed, “Are you talkin’ to us?” Eric said, “Just jokin”… Eric and Bo and the Bozos cut across the harbor to save time, but it didn’t work. When they crossed the spit and headed toward the slot inside Pillage Point, there were the rest of the blighters, closing in fast. Eric and Bo lucked out and zoomed right through the point, but all who followed had to fight five-foot dumpers crashing onto the reef.
Meanwhile, Arno Roloff, the team of John Lull and Jim Kakuk, and other intrepid spirits did an end run around the point figuring that the estupidos who cut close to the cliff trying to save time might get completely wiped out of the race. But as Kakuk watched the inside racers out of the corner of his eye, he grokked that “goin’ around” was not the fast way to freebooty. Bo and Eric led to Flat Rock, the challenging turn around point. They and everybody else braved the breaking waves and barking sea lions to cut close around Flat Rock, over the foaming reef, through the convergence zone, and onward to the first doubloon station at Ross’s Cove. Barnes and Soares got their doubloon first, with the Bozos, Powers and McHugh, and Dixon and Pritchett right on their tails. The rest of the fleet followed them to the first station without mishap.
Then came Pillage Point and destiny. Barnes and Soares surfed right by the cliff in the channel while the wild Bozos took the risk of surfing right across the reef. Sure enough, the Bozos went end over end and lost their chance to pass. Soares caroled, “Need some help?” Paul McHugh and Michael Powers met the same fate as the Bozos and Dixon/Pritchett edged into third. Everyone else who went inside also enjoyed a wild experience, picked up their second doubloon, and headed back to the third and final doubloon station just north of the Miramar Beach Inn. Barnes and Soares held their lead, got there first, and then scooted 200 meters south around the buoy at Michael’s house and started surfing in. Bo got a cramp, yelled “Take her in,” and jumped ship. Eric surfed it in while Bo swam. They hauled their boat across the finish in a time of 1:21 and hugged each other. Not bad for a grueling 7-mile ordeal. A minute later, the Bozos surfed in and joined in the group hug. Pritchett and Dixon, who got third, also joined in. Then McHugh and Powers landed and joined in. The first four finishers were teams in Tsunami X-2’s, followed by Steve Kaspar in his sleek baidarka. The rest of the paddlers came in with no major injuries. The race was a success.
After a wonderful meal which everyone contributed to, the rum jug was passed around by the racers in their pirate and sea gypsy costumes. Russ picked up the third-place Merv Larson paddle for himself and his absentee partner (he also took a double swig of rum). Kreofsky and Nagle split the second-place prize, a much sought after Hotline wetsuit. Bo Barnes and Eric Soares won the grand prize, a brightly colored Tsunami X-O Crossover with a Jolly Roger painted on the foredeck. Everyone agreed that Bo knows boats! During the awards presentation, three members of Team Gorky from Russia were toasted for valiantly racing in Perception slalom kayaks, which are good boats but not meant for speed. Sasha Tokarev, Andre Kapitanov, and Pascha Leonov were given a giant “Don’t Tread On Me” flag in honor of freedom. They also ended up with the jug of rum as a souvenir of the sea. After the celebration, the motley crowd dispersed and went home to their hot tubs to cook up some new ideas. Holy Freebooty!
SONG – Tsunami Pirateers
by Jim Kakuk & Eric Soares
(to the tune of Barrett’s Privateers, circa 1790, by Stan Rogers)
Oh the year was 1988
Oh I wish I was a Herbert now!
Sold my house, quit my job
And lived two years in a hollow log!
Dagnab them all, I was told, we’d surf the waves, we’d carry no load,
We’d smoke cigars, drink them beers,
Now I’m stuck in a cave and the tide is here,
The last Tsunami Pirateer!
We paddled on up to the Oregon coast
Oh I wish I was a Herbert now!
The wind blew like hell and the waves did crash
A pirate called me from the past
Dagnab them all, I was told, we’d surf the waves, we’d carry no load,
We’d smoke cigars, drink them beers,
Now I’m stuck in a cave and the tide is here,
The last Tsunami Pirateer!
A rogue wave came from around the bend
Oh I wish I was a Herbert now!
It swallowed up both Eric and Jim
and that was the last I’ve seen of them.
Dagnab them all, I was told, we’d surf the waves, we’d carry no load,
We’d smoke cigars, drink them beers,
Now I’m stuck in a cave and the tide is here,
The last Tsunami Pirateer!
My boat was smashed like a bowl of eggs
Oh I wish I was a Herbert now!
When I hit the rocks I nearly bought the farm
but I swam on in with my one good arm!
Dagnab them all, I was told, we’d surf the waves, we’d carry no load,
We’d smoke cigars, drink them beers,
Now I’m stuck in a cave and the tide is here,
The last Tsunami Pirateer!
(slowly)
Now here I am on my 41st year
Oh I wish I was a Herbert now!
It’s been six nights since that fateful day
and one last time I have to say,
Dagnab them all, I was told, we’d surf the waves, we’d carry no load,
We’d smoke cigars, drink them beers,
Now I’m stuck in a cave and the tide is here,
The last Tsunami Pirateer!
(the end is near)
– February, 1993
The 1992 Pirate’s Day Race was a big success, and the race continued until the last one was held in 2005. At that time the race was renamed Reef Madness by a bunch of local kayak junkies and continued on with support from the Rangers for another 10 years. Stay tuned for the continuation of this month’s series with next week’s post on the 1993 race. Thanks and happy paddling!
Jim Kakuk says
Another fun and fantastic article on the one and only, really ruff and tumble, open ocean kayak race. Many good memories were made during these events and the stories enshrine those experiences.
– Thank you Nancy.
Nancy Soares says
You’re so welcome, Jim! Thank you for delving into the archives and providing all the great photos. Team effort!